Saturday, September 10, 2016

When You Say "I Can't"

Most of you who have been reading a while know we have 3 special needs kids, all of whom are teens or very close to it.  It's been a long road raising this tribe and it looks like the road will continue to be long and bumpy for years to come.

Between the 3 we handle mental retardation, mild autism, Asperger's, adhd, bipolar disorder, OCD, anxiety, depression, and I believe there's one more but I can't put a finger on it.  Through the years we've learned hands on many things in handling medications, behaviors, school issues, socialization, legal issues, and so on.  It has definitely been a learning experience to say the least.  Along the way I've made some dear friends whom I wouldn't have known if it weren't for having a child with disabilities.

It's been the strong friends that the Lord has put in our lives through the years who continue to help us when we want to give up.  We get to a point where it's just time to flop on the couch and say "I can't", and they come to the rescue, with a call, a text, a quick "how are you" on facebook, and so on.  One in particular comes to the house when I'm in tears and truly to where I am saying "I can't do this anymore" and want to give up.  I don't know what I'd do without them.

Someone else is there when we so so want to give up and be done.

Jesus.

He said He'd never leave us nor forsake us.  He sent a Comforter to be with us when we need Him the most.  He never said that life would be easy, but that He'd be with us along the way.  There's times when it feels like we're alone drifting in a sea of phone calls and paper work and demands and expectations and behaviors and so on, but He throws a lifeline.

In a few years the oldest two will be in their own living arrangements, whether on their own or in a supported living home, and the constant "on alert" for physical aggression to self/others/property will diminish. The youngest will be out on her own most likely in her own apartment.  We will get to breathe for a minute, let the "alert" feeling go away, and get to breathe.  Until those days arrive, we remain "on duty", watching and waiting for signs of impending physical aggression, waiting for the behaviors we know are to come, for the phone calls from schools about one child or another, for the meltdowns over a simple question asking for them to do something very simple.  Some days it feels more like awaiting a combat order instead of parenting...those with kids like ours understand that feeling.

Jesus knew what He was doing in putting the tribe with us.  I'm sure of that.  I'm also sure that He knew we'd say "I can't" and have to lean on Him all the more.

If you get to the place where you think you can't go on...trust in Him.  You CAN go on...with Him!




Shared with:  Darling Downs Diaries, Mom's The Word, Soul Survival, The Modest Mom, Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth


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