Saturday, October 17, 2015

The Sledge...

Patience has never been a virtue I've relished.  I'm not very good at practicing patience.

God has been working on that.  Let me tell you, He uses a chisel, and sometimes a sledge hammer to get working on it.  It gets painful with little nicks taken off here, the sledgehammer taking a chunk off there, whittling away at the things blocking me from using the patience He has so graciously been trying to teach.

Ting...ting..ting...the smaller hammer taps the chisel taking off a little sliver from over here.

A little anxiety over there...let's break out the 10 pound sledge..."clunk"...

"Ouch, Lord...why did You have to take off so much??? "

"Because if I didn't, you wouldn't be close to how I want you to be. "

Ting...ting..ting...off goes a piece the size of a toe.

"What was that for?"

"You got angry over something small today.  You didn't have to. "

"You're right, I didn't have to."

A larger chunk comes off...

"Hey what was that???"

"You didn't use patience with the kids.  They needed patience instead of demands."

"Lord have You seen how they behave lately???  I mean, the stomping hissy fits are gonna leave holes in the floor!  Ouch..what was that for???"

"Use the patience I've given you.  When you've worked on this, I won't have to cut away so much.  You'll be where I want you to be.  I won't have to use the sledgehammer.  "

"Okay, point made.  Can You put that thing away now??"

"No.  I'm not done with you yet."

He isn't done with me yet.  Or you.  I don't know about you, but I need constant work, constant chipping away at my exterior, my hardness, my lack of patience, my sin nature....  I would imagine there's a few hands up out there going "me too"...if not, be careful, the Lord swings a hefty sledge.

 Right now, it feels like the Lord is swinging a 10 pound sledge on a chisel, waiting for me to crack once He gets the chisel far enough.  He's working on the roughness, the hard exterior, to get to the softness inside.  I carry a hard exterior, an "I can do this, just let me handle it" type, who doesn't ask for help until past the point of breaking.  It's been after the breaking, after that chisel has gotten in so far that part of me splits off...that I run to Him.

That's not how it is supposed to work.

We're supposed to cling to Him.  We're supposed to be right with Him, worshipping Him and taking Him everywhere no matter how good or bad things go in our lives.  I'm ashamed to say that I don't always cling to Him...I try to take control and do things on my own.

I'm the only one that does this, right?

Proverbs 3:5 is a good verse to work on this, giving control over and trusting Him....

Do you trust Him like you should???



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3 comments:

  1. Hi Angie, testing again after google ate my comment...sigh...

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  2. I'm glad to see you posting again on your blog. I'm praying about about writing soon. I've been caring for my adult suicidal son...a hard assignment, but the Lord is good & equips those He calls. My son lives & I am thankful. I've quite the story to tell but wonder about the timing. But the lesson on patience sounds familiar! I am glad the Lord is patient with me! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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    Replies
    1. Thanks :) It's been very unique around here, we've went from dealing with behaviors daily and looking at long term residential care to officially homeschooling as of Friday--been doing it for a few weeks but put in official stuff Friday. The school is being difficult even in withdrawal, they don't quite want to follow the law. *sigh* Either way the Lord is still in control and much bigger than anything going on.

      I've been wondering how your move went, and how your family is doing. How do you like it where you are now?

      I'm sure the Lord will give you the right timing to write.... ;)

      Lots of hugs!

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Your graceful comments are welcome!